I am very new to the lifestyle and I am having trouble finding a caring dom. There is this one guy who wants me as a slave not a sub. He promised he wouldn't share me but now has told me he wants to pimp me out for money and if he wants to share me, he will. I don't want to be demeaned like the videos he keeps having me look at and I told him I wasn't into females at all. Already he has demoted me to cook and housekeeper and another girl as his sex toy. Also discussed spankings but he wants to use a belt. When I said, no just hands, he said I was too demanding. We haven't even met yet. How can I find a caring dom?
The way he has responded to you is NOT THE WAY THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK.
Don't waste another email on this person, because he is so completely not listening to you, let alone respecting your limits even in talking about a relationship, let alone building one. The good news is that he has shown his true colors before getting you to meet him in person, where he might have been very aggressive and possibly even abusive.
You have to be patient and keep looking. It's really no different than finding a vanilla lover/partner/spouse, actually harder because you have added to the list of specific qualities you're looking for. But you can find the right one if you're patient and refuse to settle for less than you really want.
Where are you looking? Have you joined Fetlife? If not, do so, and use the location guide to find a group in your area that has a munch. Meeting a group of like-minded people in real time and in a safe public environment is the best way to learn and network and protect yourself. Having friends who understand and support your journey will help you gain some experience and confidence in how to deal with potential partners.
On Fetlife, join a couple of discussion groups that appeal to you. Again, it helps you network and interact with people who could turn out to be what you're looking for in a partner, but at the very least, you make new friends. You can never have too many of those.
I have a new book you might want to take a look at: How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive. It has all the advice I could ever give you on how to get started in the kinky world.
Good luck, and be safe. :)